Dear crazy people:
As we approach the release of TS3 I’d like to give a shout out to all the sensationalist media outlets and moral crusaders. Your misinformed insights and biased reports bring joy to all gamers. I know that the game isn’t out yet, but if most ‘angry’ critics don’t bother to play the games they’re complaining about, why should I?
Here’s ten fresh controversies for the nutters with microphones. (Keep in mind some of my suggestions are actually saner than others. I needed ten things, OK?)
- Promiscuity. Well, it is a goal of gameplay in TS2 to have sex with 20 different people. Though you have to play the game to know that, unlike certain critics wailing about penises and labia.
- Same-sex marriage, acceptance, tolerance, etc. All that stuff the Bible supposedly doesn’t let you do.
- Insensitive portrayal of persons with mental health issues. EA: insane kleptomaniacs = funny.
- Exploiting kids with pay stuff. “Dad! I get $10 for free if I sign up!” Dad cracks out the credit card. Next thing you know, the kid’s spent $1000 on Sims stuff and you have one very angry parent appearing on Fox 8 News.
- Child abuse. AKA leaving babies on cold concrete floors for several hours.
- Paid organ donation. Well, it’s a pet peeve of mine. Exploitation of people in developing countries, EA?
- Biking without helmets. DANGER!
- Godless heathens.
- Bullying. Or the possibility to do it through repeated poking.
- Vegetarians. I dunno, something has to be offensive about the way it’s implemented … Oh wait, VEGANS!
Disclaimer: not necessarily a reflection of my own personal opinions.